Bruce Bochy and Peter Magowan have a big problem.
Barry Zito.
Today, Mr. Zito lost his 6th consecutive start, and is 0-6 for the season. Mr. Magowan spent a total of $126 million signing Mr. Zito as a free-agent for the 2007 season, and has lived to regret it. Although Mr. Magowan’s grandfather was the Merrill in Merrill-Lynch, he doesn't have $126 million to squander.
Though the fans are going nuts on local talk radio, none of his teammates or media people are feeling any schadenfreude at Mr. Zito’s expense, even though Mr. Zito engaged the Anti-Christ as his agent, and signed the infamous $126 million contract.
In 2007, the first year of his Giants contract, Mr. Zito posted a disappointing 11-13 record with a 4.53 ERA on on a lackluster team burdened by the festering cancer known as Barry Bonds. But Mr. Zito impressed in other ways. While Bonds sat like a Cheshire Cat on his steroids-saturated ass on his La-z-boy recliner, sullenly glaring at the media circus swelling around him from the San Francisco Chronicle exposé, Mr. Zito smiled and answered every question about the expectations and disappointments of the season.
It’s hard to root against a guy who donates for every strike-out he tallies to a fund supporting injured American troops while they recover in military and civilian hospitals. How can you hate a fellow who rides public transit to the ball park each day?
Mr. Zito says his troubles all come from being unable to put the ball where the catcher sets a target. An old scout once told me that a pitcher who is “wild in the strike zone” is a lot more dangerous for a team than one who can’t find it all. Missing by inches in the strike zone doesn't turn into walks, they turn into extra base hits.
Should his woes extend through this season, Mr. Zito does have an out, which can be described in two words:
Rick Ankiel.
Mr. Ankiel began a promising career as a starting pitcher with the St. Louis Cardinals. He threw an amazing curve ball which had batters flailing wildly after the bottom dropped out of it in the strike zone. But in his second year he developed wildness, culminating in a nightmare outing in Game One of the 2000 National League Divison Series against the Atlanta Braves. Mr. Ankiel threw FIVE wild pitches in one inning.
From there it got worse. His rebuilding effort was hampered by injury and later surgery that cost him a full season. Finally, in 2005 he announced he was giving up pitching and was going to try to make it back to the major leagues as an outfielder.
Although highly unusual, this move certainly makes sense. A Major League starting pitcher was often the best player on his Little League, high school, and college teams, many times doubling as a position player between starts. The greatest player who ever set foot on a baseball diamond, Babe Ruth, began his career as an outstanding pitcher whose records stood until the dawning of the 21st Century, before switching to the outfield.
Mr. Ankiel made his way back through the Cardinals organization until he returned to the Cards in August 2007. Now the starting center fielder, Mr. Ankiel bats second in the line-up.
Note to Barry Zito: Don’t forget Rick Ankiel.
[Updated: 7 May 2008: Barry Zito was demoted to the bullpen for 10 days, missing two starts. He'll return to the pitcher’s mound today. Also included footage of Mr. Ankiel in center making great plays. I guess he can pinpoint throws now.].
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27 April 2008
You’ve got a six-day break
If you don’t like NASCAR, you’ve got a six-day break. I think I won’t write about NASCAR again until next Saturday night.
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Live Blogging #88 @ Dega
If you are not interested in NASCAR, please scroll down for something else.
I'm monitoring DirecTV’s HotPass channel 791, the Jr. channel. There's a very slight delay so they can try to catch Jr.’s profanity, but they always miss the first syllable, and then end up cutting off the specific matter he is complaining about. I also hear his spotter saying clear when the TV shows a car at his door. DirecTV has the Fox audio cutting in and out, so I'm staying with the driver audio. T. J. MAJORS spotting for the 88.
WRAP-UP - JR came into this race 3rd, 86 pts. behind the leader Jeff Burton, and 6 behind Kyle Busch. He finished 10th, and gained 16 points on the leader.
UNOFFICIAL STANDINGS AFTER TALLADEGA
(no change in positions)
All in all, although the 10th place result was disappointing, Dale Jr. had an excellent car. After the crash, he might have gone all the way to the front if there had been enough laps. He said, “Jamie [McMurray, the driver of the 26, who was his drafting partner for the last 3 laps] just had to trust me, that I would stay behind him not try to get around him. I was willing to take 2nd and push him to the front, and I would have if he didn't cut a tire and get loose at the end. I have to call out my engine builder for giving me a helluva machine.
Rants Shout-Out: Matt Haggard, Saturday night dirt track racer, sportswriter, weather forecaster. You called it right, Matthew. No rain.
COOL DOWN LAP - JR: We shouldn't've pitted that last time. Tony: No, it was pretty bad. Be proud of what you did. JR: TJ, Tell Jamie's spotter thank you, we couldn't've done it without him. TJ: 10-4. JR: Guys, you did a helluva job. We gonna win one of these f****rs one of these days. Damn, we could've won this race!
FINAL LAP - CAUTION'S OUT. FIELD FROZEN. 11TH.
3 to go - JR: tell the 26 to come back to me, I can push him to the front. JR glued to the 26 bumper charging through the field, to 17th
5 to go - JR: Who's behind me? TJ: 09, lapped cars, all got some kind of damage. JR: tell 09 to drive like hell, we're going to the front.
8 to go - CAUTION'S OUT. 43 spun out. 29th. Asking TJ to talk to 26's spotter. JR: Is he not watching the f***** race? If I can get behind him, we'll go straight to the front! TJ: Alright, I'll ask him.
8 to go - JR: We might get there. TJ: Yeah, you got 8 laps, you might.
12 to go - BACK INTO THE PITS. Pulling out the bent sheet metal on the left side. Came out 29th
13 to go - LONG PIT STOP. LONG. Sawing off the bent sheet metal on the right side quarter panel. Lots of tape. Back out, still on the lead lap.
14 to go - JR: I don't wanna pit! TJ: We have to pit. you have a big parachute back there (right rear quarter-panel) Tony: Come in, you need some gas. JR: I want to come in and get right back out. I don't need anything, fix what you want to fix.
16 to go - FOUR WIDE. JR GOT LOOSE, SAVED IT, THEN TAPPED 43. DAMAGE TO RIGHT REAR AND LEFT REAR.
18 to go - 2 came up with 88 on the outside, thought he'd help, then the 2 and following car dropped to lead the center lane, leaving JR hanging out to dry, fell back to 18th.
21 to go - CAUTION. JR: Count me down. I need to know when it's 15, 10, 9. Let TJ call the traffic. Tony: I'll count down the laps, let TJ focus on the traffic.
22 to go -CAUTION. JR: 24 ought to have followed the 12 to the front. Don't know why he didn't. He would have gained a spot.
24 to go = CAUTION DEBRIS off the 83
24 to go - 24 and 88 get a big run on the outside. Running 3rd. 12 taps him lightly, rear bumper, then passes.
25 to go - coming to the GREEN
27 to go - 4TH CAUTION, no mention of a pit stop. Running 8th. 24=7th 88=8th. TJ MAJORS: You can help him (24) more than he can help you.
28 to go - CAUTION. 15 gets loose in front of JR, spins to the infield, JR evades him. JR: I ain't gonna do that. TJ MAJORS: (dryly) Yeah, don't do that.
31 to go - Now 12th.
34 to go - THREE WIDE!!!! WHOLE PACK RUNNING TOGETHER 193 MPH. JR 15th
38 to go - with the 31 just behind, watch the 44 - 88 - 31 charge. FOUR WIDE
39 to go - JR goes outside trying to lead, then gets swept back to 16th as two lines pass him on the inside.
42 to go - Still CAUTION. Since I can't hear Fox audio, wonder if anyone has talked about Robby Gordon in the 7 car. During the break, he flew to Europe to run his Hummer in the Dakar Rally replacement race in Central Europe, which finished yesterday afternoon, then flew back to drive Dega. Went to the back at the start because he did not qualify the car.
43 to go - PIT STOP. Right-fronts and fuel only. JR starts then stops, as Tony says hold on, need more gas. Tony says he can make it, but save some fuel in case there's a green-white-checker. Came in LEADER, out behind 11 and 12.
45 to go - CAUTION. 20 cut right-front. LEADER. Tony: gonna do two right,
46 to go - 20, JR to the front, outside line. 3 wide. 83 charges alone in the middle. CAUTION
47 to go - THREE WIDE. JR leads middle line to the front. Trading lead with 20, 11, 31
49 to go - 9 pushes JR to the front, on the insde. Now 9, 19, 88, 11.
50 to go - THREE WIDE. 19 and 11 pass everyone on the inside like they're standing still.
51 to go - two wide. Running 5th, inside. NOW THREE WIDE
54 to go - Cars to watch out for: 20 - Stewart, 11 - Hamlin, 38 - Sadler,
58 to go - LEADER. Laps Led: #20 = 58 laps. #88 = 40 laps
60 to go -LEADER, 11, 20. JR pushes 11 to the lead on the outside, then drops down to lead on the inside.
64 to go - 11 and 26 make a big run to the lead on the outside, then drop down in front of JR. 7th. 24 near the front of the outside line.
67 to go - LEADER 20 next, then 11. Two wide, JR leads inside line, outside 10 car lengths back.
69 to go - JR asks how many pit stops to go, when. Tony says one pit stop, right now 2 rights only and fuel. JR asks will fuel be tight at the end. Tony: You will not be tight on fuel. After the last pit stop you'll be 20 laps to the good.
70 to go - Came in and out LEADER
71 to go - PIT STOP. Gas and go. Topped off. Cleaned the grill. Outside the jet blowers, cleaning tire debris.
72 to go - CAUTION. blown tire. debris. 99 blew right-front. Gas and go. 1 can.
76 to go - 11 and 12 charge to the front, then 18 (-2 laps), 88, then 12 looks ouside trying to lead and gets swept back to 6th
78 to go - LEADER. 18 ahead of JR fighting to stay on lead lap.
81 to go - 20, 11, JR. Pit stops cycled through.
83 to go - PIT STOP. 4 tires and fuel. Full load of fuel. Came in LEADER, out 3. 20 leads.
98 - 20 will come in with 88. 20 will take outsides and fuel. 88 4 tires and full load.
95 - JR asks about his teammates. 24 and 48 back about 17-18, 24 will pit around 100, JR comes in at 105. 4 tires and fuel. Tony says, we ought to take 4 to make sure we get a full tank of fuel, then one more stop to the finish.
94 HALF-WAY - LEADER. 20 behind, then a long line of lead lap cars. Race is now official. Jr. runs very well with the 20, lots of trust.
93 - LEADER, 20 two car lengths back.
88 - LEADER
87 - JR. glued to the 70 Schrader, lap down, headed to the front
85 - Jr. leading a big pack inside, 4th
82 - 48 leads Jr. to the front. Man they are drafting so tightly you couldn't stick a piece of paper between 'em!
67 - 12th. JR: hangin' back here, like when we won the (Daytona) 500. Tony: No (excessive) wear on the tires.
64 - PIT STOP 4,000 second gear. 4 tires and fuel. 13.4 seconds. Came in 2nd, came out 12.
64 - 20 leads a big group onto pit road. LEADER
63 - lapped cars. Coming in at 65, 4 tires and fuel. LEADING.
61 - making a big run on the outside, with the 20 pushing. LEAD
60 - 7th
58 - Jr. gets a big run inside, goes to 10th
55 - Leads in the middle, then gets freight-trained top and bottom pushed way back to 18.
52 - 88 pushes 15 to the front, taking the high line. two wide. Passed on the outside by 42 and 11, 4th. Jr: What a trip!
50 - 3 wide. 83 leading. Jr. leads again, with 24 and 11 pushing.
48 - Jr. leads again. 83 with 11 pushing taking the lead. Back and forth. 24 still trying to lead. 3 drafting lines.
47 - 31 pushed by the 6 pass. 88 3rd
42 - 24 couldn’t pass so Jr. says, go whenever you can. If he gets a run, he might be able to go down there and clear me.
41 - 24's got a big run. Jr: does he want to lead a lap, he's about to!
39 - Leader
38 - Dale Jr. leads a freight-train drafting with the 24 and 83 on the outside.
24 - green. Jr. now 5th.
22 (yellow) - 24 asks if you want to go to the front for the 5 pts. Dale Jr. says "I don't know. It's harder to pass that 20 than you think.
21 - Pit road's open, 88 comes in. Right side only and 1 tank of gas. Came in 3, out 7. 17 hit the wall pretty hard back there.
Lap 20 - Caution. Jr. says it runs about 220 in the draft. don’t need tires unless you need them. Tony says I’ll put 2 on, normally I'd put in 4.
Lap 18 of 188 - Junebug says we might be touching the left front. No contact seen so it’s hard to explain
Lap 7 - Dale Jr. says everything fine.
11:21 AM (PDT) [TJ Majors spotting for the #88 team.]Green Green Green. Started 3rd in the pts. 86 pts. behind Jeff Burton, 80 behind Kyle Busch.
I'm monitoring DirecTV’s HotPass channel 791, the Jr. channel. There's a very slight delay so they can try to catch Jr.’s profanity, but they always miss the first syllable, and then end up cutting off the specific matter he is complaining about. I also hear his spotter saying clear when the TV shows a car at his door. DirecTV has the Fox audio cutting in and out, so I'm staying with the driver audio. T. J. MAJORS spotting for the 88.
WRAP-UP - JR came into this race 3rd, 86 pts. behind the leader Jeff Burton, and 6 behind Kyle Busch. He finished 10th, and gained 16 points on the leader.
UNOFFICIAL STANDINGS AFTER TALLADEGA
(no change in positions)
- Jeff Burton 1338 --
- Kyle Busch 1325 -13 +67
- Dale Jr. 1268 -70 +18
All in all, although the 10th place result was disappointing, Dale Jr. had an excellent car. After the crash, he might have gone all the way to the front if there had been enough laps. He said, “Jamie [McMurray, the driver of the 26, who was his drafting partner for the last 3 laps] just had to trust me, that I would stay behind him not try to get around him. I was willing to take 2nd and push him to the front, and I would have if he didn't cut a tire and get loose at the end. I have to call out my engine builder for giving me a helluva machine.
Rants Shout-Out: Matt Haggard, Saturday night dirt track racer, sportswriter, weather forecaster. You called it right, Matthew. No rain.
COOL DOWN LAP - JR: We shouldn't've pitted that last time. Tony: No, it was pretty bad. Be proud of what you did. JR: TJ, Tell Jamie's spotter thank you, we couldn't've done it without him. TJ: 10-4. JR: Guys, you did a helluva job. We gonna win one of these f****rs one of these days. Damn, we could've won this race!
FINAL LAP - CAUTION'S OUT. FIELD FROZEN. 11TH.
3 to go - JR: tell the 26 to come back to me, I can push him to the front. JR glued to the 26 bumper charging through the field, to 17th
5 to go - JR: Who's behind me? TJ: 09, lapped cars, all got some kind of damage. JR: tell 09 to drive like hell, we're going to the front.
8 to go - CAUTION'S OUT. 43 spun out. 29th. Asking TJ to talk to 26's spotter. JR: Is he not watching the f***** race? If I can get behind him, we'll go straight to the front! TJ: Alright, I'll ask him.
8 to go - JR: We might get there. TJ: Yeah, you got 8 laps, you might.
12 to go - BACK INTO THE PITS. Pulling out the bent sheet metal on the left side. Came out 29th
13 to go - LONG PIT STOP. LONG. Sawing off the bent sheet metal on the right side quarter panel. Lots of tape. Back out, still on the lead lap.
14 to go - JR: I don't wanna pit! TJ: We have to pit. you have a big parachute back there (right rear quarter-panel) Tony: Come in, you need some gas. JR: I want to come in and get right back out. I don't need anything, fix what you want to fix.
16 to go - FOUR WIDE. JR GOT LOOSE, SAVED IT, THEN TAPPED 43. DAMAGE TO RIGHT REAR AND LEFT REAR.
18 to go - 2 came up with 88 on the outside, thought he'd help, then the 2 and following car dropped to lead the center lane, leaving JR hanging out to dry, fell back to 18th.
21 to go - CAUTION. JR: Count me down. I need to know when it's 15, 10, 9. Let TJ call the traffic. Tony: I'll count down the laps, let TJ focus on the traffic.
22 to go -CAUTION. JR: 24 ought to have followed the 12 to the front. Don't know why he didn't. He would have gained a spot.
24 to go = CAUTION DEBRIS off the 83
24 to go - 24 and 88 get a big run on the outside. Running 3rd. 12 taps him lightly, rear bumper, then passes.
25 to go - coming to the GREEN
27 to go - 4TH CAUTION, no mention of a pit stop. Running 8th. 24=7th 88=8th. TJ MAJORS: You can help him (24) more than he can help you.
28 to go - CAUTION. 15 gets loose in front of JR, spins to the infield, JR evades him. JR: I ain't gonna do that. TJ MAJORS: (dryly) Yeah, don't do that.
31 to go - Now 12th.
34 to go - THREE WIDE!!!! WHOLE PACK RUNNING TOGETHER 193 MPH. JR 15th
38 to go - with the 31 just behind, watch the 44 - 88 - 31 charge. FOUR WIDE
39 to go - JR goes outside trying to lead, then gets swept back to 16th as two lines pass him on the inside.
42 to go - Still CAUTION. Since I can't hear Fox audio, wonder if anyone has talked about Robby Gordon in the 7 car. During the break, he flew to Europe to run his Hummer in the Dakar Rally replacement race in Central Europe, which finished yesterday afternoon, then flew back to drive Dega. Went to the back at the start because he did not qualify the car.
43 to go - PIT STOP. Right-fronts and fuel only. JR starts then stops, as Tony says hold on, need more gas. Tony says he can make it, but save some fuel in case there's a green-white-checker. Came in LEADER, out behind 11 and 12.
45 to go - CAUTION. 20 cut right-front. LEADER. Tony: gonna do two right,
46 to go - 20, JR to the front, outside line. 3 wide. 83 charges alone in the middle. CAUTION
47 to go - THREE WIDE. JR leads middle line to the front. Trading lead with 20, 11, 31
49 to go - 9 pushes JR to the front, on the insde. Now 9, 19, 88, 11.
50 to go - THREE WIDE. 19 and 11 pass everyone on the inside like they're standing still.
51 to go - two wide. Running 5th, inside. NOW THREE WIDE
54 to go - Cars to watch out for: 20 - Stewart, 11 - Hamlin, 38 - Sadler,
58 to go - LEADER. Laps Led: #20 = 58 laps. #88 = 40 laps
60 to go -LEADER, 11, 20. JR pushes 11 to the lead on the outside, then drops down to lead on the inside.
64 to go - 11 and 26 make a big run to the lead on the outside, then drop down in front of JR. 7th. 24 near the front of the outside line.
67 to go - LEADER 20 next, then 11. Two wide, JR leads inside line, outside 10 car lengths back.
69 to go - JR asks how many pit stops to go, when. Tony says one pit stop, right now 2 rights only and fuel. JR asks will fuel be tight at the end. Tony: You will not be tight on fuel. After the last pit stop you'll be 20 laps to the good.
70 to go - Came in and out LEADER
71 to go - PIT STOP. Gas and go. Topped off. Cleaned the grill. Outside the jet blowers, cleaning tire debris.
72 to go - CAUTION. blown tire. debris. 99 blew right-front. Gas and go. 1 can.
76 to go - 11 and 12 charge to the front, then 18 (-2 laps), 88, then 12 looks ouside trying to lead and gets swept back to 6th
78 to go - LEADER. 18 ahead of JR fighting to stay on lead lap.
81 to go - 20, 11, JR. Pit stops cycled through.
83 to go - PIT STOP. 4 tires and fuel. Full load of fuel. Came in LEADER, out 3. 20 leads.
98 - 20 will come in with 88. 20 will take outsides and fuel. 88 4 tires and full load.
95 - JR asks about his teammates. 24 and 48 back about 17-18, 24 will pit around 100, JR comes in at 105. 4 tires and fuel. Tony says, we ought to take 4 to make sure we get a full tank of fuel, then one more stop to the finish.
94 HALF-WAY - LEADER. 20 behind, then a long line of lead lap cars. Race is now official. Jr. runs very well with the 20, lots of trust.
93 - LEADER, 20 two car lengths back.
88 - LEADER
87 - JR. glued to the 70 Schrader, lap down, headed to the front
85 - Jr. leading a big pack inside, 4th
82 - 48 leads Jr. to the front. Man they are drafting so tightly you couldn't stick a piece of paper between 'em!
67 - 12th. JR: hangin' back here, like when we won the (Daytona) 500. Tony: No (excessive) wear on the tires.
64 - PIT STOP 4,000 second gear. 4 tires and fuel. 13.4 seconds. Came in 2nd, came out 12.
64 - 20 leads a big group onto pit road. LEADER
63 - lapped cars. Coming in at 65, 4 tires and fuel. LEADING.
61 - making a big run on the outside, with the 20 pushing. LEAD
60 - 7th
58 - Jr. gets a big run inside, goes to 10th
55 - Leads in the middle, then gets freight-trained top and bottom pushed way back to 18.
52 - 88 pushes 15 to the front, taking the high line. two wide. Passed on the outside by 42 and 11, 4th. Jr: What a trip!
50 - 3 wide. 83 leading. Jr. leads again, with 24 and 11 pushing.
48 - Jr. leads again. 83 with 11 pushing taking the lead. Back and forth. 24 still trying to lead. 3 drafting lines.
47 - 31 pushed by the 6 pass. 88 3rd
42 - 24 couldn’t pass so Jr. says, go whenever you can. If he gets a run, he might be able to go down there and clear me.
41 - 24's got a big run. Jr: does he want to lead a lap, he's about to!
39 - Leader
38 - Dale Jr. leads a freight-train drafting with the 24 and 83 on the outside.
24 - green. Jr. now 5th.
22 (yellow) - 24 asks if you want to go to the front for the 5 pts. Dale Jr. says "I don't know. It's harder to pass that 20 than you think.
21 - Pit road's open, 88 comes in. Right side only and 1 tank of gas. Came in 3, out 7. 17 hit the wall pretty hard back there.
Lap 20 - Caution. Jr. says it runs about 220 in the draft. don’t need tires unless you need them. Tony says I’ll put 2 on, normally I'd put in 4.
Lap 18 of 188 - Junebug says we might be touching the left front. No contact seen so it’s hard to explain
Lap 7 - Dale Jr. says everything fine.
11:21 AM (PDT) [TJ Majors spotting for the #88 team.]Green Green Green. Started 3rd in the pts. 86 pts. behind Jeff Burton, 80 behind Kyle Busch.
Live-blogging Dale Earnhardt, Jr. at Dega tomorrow
NASCAR.com is giving away Trackpass free this weekend. You do have to sign up, but the first two races are free, and then you cancel.
I also have DirecTV’s HotPass, and I will be monitoring the Dale Jr. Channel. I’ll be posting pit stops and any scanner chatter I hear. Hit REFRESH frequently so you’ll see the updates.
There’s a possibility of rain tomorrow at Dega, so if the race is postponed, I'm sorry, I'll try again next week. MH, my weatherman in Alabama says the rain might hold out until Tuesday.
Update 1:45 AM. MH says there is a window between noon and 4 which should be clear. So we might get in a race, although maybe not a full one.
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I also have DirecTV’s HotPass, and I will be monitoring the Dale Jr. Channel. I’ll be posting pit stops and any scanner chatter I hear. Hit REFRESH frequently so you’ll see the updates.
There’s a possibility of rain tomorrow at Dega, so if the race is postponed, I'm sorry, I'll try again next week. MH, my weatherman in Alabama says the rain might hold out until Tuesday.
Update 1:45 AM. MH says there is a window between noon and 4 which should be clear. So we might get in a race, although maybe not a full one.
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26 April 2008
Blood In The News Room
Keith J. Kelly in his Media Ink column in the New York Post reported this week that the Old Grey Lady of American journalism is cutting 100 news room positions in a few days. New York Times Executive Editor William Keller is looking for 100 staffers to fall on the sword for early retirement (with pension) and three weeks pay for each year of service.
At the turn of the 21st Century, Craig Newmark’s Craigslist became a black hole, sucking classified revenue from dead tree newspapers. Every major metropolitan daily made cuts; the Boston Globe, Dallas Morning News, Chicago Tribune, Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, and now it’s The New York Times. First gristle and fat, now it’s muscle and bones. Layoffs are so common in the industry that gallows humor rivals the bottle as the coping method of choice.
Cuts in staff are bad enough, but to make it worse, they're buy-outs. Soon, because of buy-outs, attrition, and retirement, the news room of tomorrow will be staffed entirely by 20 and 30 year-olds. Ask any journalist with more than ten years in the business, and you’ll hear about old Ed “Rad” Radunzell at the wire desk, who filed stories from Europe during the War, or Bill Heinz, when searching for the hook for his coverage of the March from Selma to Mongomery, took his photographer back out to the road in the middle of the night so he could “get the smell of it” It’ll be a sad day when the students become the mentors.
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At the turn of the 21st Century, Craig Newmark’s Craigslist became a black hole, sucking classified revenue from dead tree newspapers. Every major metropolitan daily made cuts; the Boston Globe, Dallas Morning News, Chicago Tribune, Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, and now it’s The New York Times. First gristle and fat, now it’s muscle and bones. Layoffs are so common in the industry that gallows humor rivals the bottle as the coping method of choice.
Cuts in staff are bad enough, but to make it worse, they're buy-outs. Soon, because of buy-outs, attrition, and retirement, the news room of tomorrow will be staffed entirely by 20 and 30 year-olds. Ask any journalist with more than ten years in the business, and you’ll hear about old Ed “Rad” Radunzell at the wire desk, who filed stories from Europe during the War, or Bill Heinz, when searching for the hook for his coverage of the March from Selma to Mongomery, took his photographer back out to the road in the middle of the night so he could “get the smell of it” It’ll be a sad day when the students become the mentors.
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NASCAR Owner Talks To Danica
NASCAR’s Jack Roush, owner of Roush-Fenway Racing, had a “conversation” with representatives of Indy Car driver Danica Patrick. Speed TV reports Ms. Patrick’s contract with Motorola runs through 2009 and it’s likely the Andretti-Green Racing contract is the same.
When her previous contract with Rahal-Letterman was up for renewal, Ms. Patrick also talked to NASCAR. Last week, she said, “... when your contract time comes, anyone would be foolish not to explore options that are relevant. You have to go where you feel you have the best chance to win and the most opportunities and where you feel your heart is."
Does this mean anything? For years, the confusion between the IRL and the competing Champ Car helped NASCAR become the predominant racing racing organization in the USA. Ms. Patrick’s win last weekend quashed all the talk of her being the “Anna Kournikova of racing.” Because of her high profile, it’s no wonder Jack Roush would reach out to her people. Mr. Roush can spot an open microphone or reporter’s notebook from miles away.
[The Associated Press contributed to this report.]
Related:
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When her previous contract with Rahal-Letterman was up for renewal, Ms. Patrick also talked to NASCAR. Last week, she said, “... when your contract time comes, anyone would be foolish not to explore options that are relevant. You have to go where you feel you have the best chance to win and the most opportunities and where you feel your heart is."
Does this mean anything? For years, the confusion between the IRL and the competing Champ Car helped NASCAR become the predominant racing racing organization in the USA. Ms. Patrick’s win last weekend quashed all the talk of her being the “Anna Kournikova of racing.” Because of her high profile, it’s no wonder Jack Roush would reach out to her people. Mr. Roush can spot an open microphone or reporter’s notebook from miles away.
[The Associated Press contributed to this report.]
Related:
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25 April 2008
Heading Home by Doug Glanville
Retired major leaguer Doug Glanville is writing a series of op-ed pieces for the New York Times, about the rhythyms of a major leaguer’s life. Here are the first three.
The Boys Of Spring
Baseball has begun — in Tokyo, as the game expands worldwide — but the teams other than the Red Sox and A’s are still in Florida and Arizona, and for a few more days they’re all contenders. (26 March 2008) more...
Way Inside
If Major League Baseball had a starter kit for players, it would no doubt contain a fortune cookie. Crack it open and you would find a little slip of paper with the message, “You have to believe in yourself or no one else will.” (11 April 2008) more...
It Gets Late Early Out There
If in seven years you went from being a bouncing baby boy to Old Man River, you would most likely look around to try to figure out which mirror you had broken. But in the world of Major League Baseball, that is exactly what happens to you — if you’re lucky. (25 April 2008 more...
--30--
The Boys Of Spring
Baseball has begun — in Tokyo, as the game expands worldwide — but the teams other than the Red Sox and A’s are still in Florida and Arizona, and for a few more days they’re all contenders. (26 March 2008) more...
Way Inside
If Major League Baseball had a starter kit for players, it would no doubt contain a fortune cookie. Crack it open and you would find a little slip of paper with the message, “You have to believe in yourself or no one else will.” (11 April 2008) more...
It Gets Late Early Out There
If in seven years you went from being a bouncing baby boy to Old Man River, you would most likely look around to try to figure out which mirror you had broken. But in the world of Major League Baseball, that is exactly what happens to you — if you’re lucky. (25 April 2008 more...
--30--
24 April 2008
Watching movies
After working in a movie theatre for nearly the last seven years, I’ve got a number of observations to make about seeing movies in theatres, and why I hope I never do it again.
Probably the worst problem I faced while working as Head Usher at the movie theatre was the customers. Of course, the vast majority of my customers were a pleasure to deal with. They knew that seeing a movie in a darkened theatre with others was a special experience, and they did their best not to become a part of the experience for others, except for their measured reactions to what they saw on the screen.
But there was a sizable minority of customers who made moviegoing a nightmare, particularly for someone like me, who likes no disturbance whatsoever when I choose to see a movie.
The worst problem is talking. Talking to your companion, talking to the screen, or worse yet, talking on the phone. People are so used to watching movies at home, where talking to your family and housemates about the movie or household matters is normal, that they carry that behavior with them. A lot of customers think they're being considerate by turning off the ringer and using text messaging, but that’s nearly as bad, because the light emitted from their devices is bright enough to draw the attention of those sitting adjacent and all the individuals sitting behind them.
[Believe it or not, I had to listen to talking all around me when I was taken to a screening at the Writer’s Guild of America, west Theatre on Doheny in Los Angeles. I could not believe that writers, who fight for respect for their work, would be whispering constantly throughout the entire movie. I guess I’m like Hans Christian Anderson’s Princess And The Pea, because I’m so sensitive that I can hear someone unwrapping a cough drop nine rows behind me.]
Yes, I know that a customer who is being disturbed by another can always get up and summon an usher to come in and try to resolve the problem. However, once the customer gets up to fetch the usher, he is now “out” of the movie, even before he goes through the doors.
Another big problem is crying babies. I realize economic times are tough, but if you can’t afford a baby-sitter, STAY HOME. When everyone else is watching a quiet psycho-drama, nothing ruins the experience faster than a fussy baby.
Don’t get me started about food. Yes, I know that every movie theatre sells popcorn, and the aroma of freshly-popped popcorn is one that I use to put myself into a “movie” frame of mind. But when the aroma of popcorn fights the aroma of Chinese, Mexican, or Indian take-out, (all three colliding is a nightmare) it doesn't make me hungry, it makes me nauseous.
If you’ve been reading this blog, or you know me, you might recall I had a heart attack, quadruple bypass, and valve repair surgery 4 years ago. How does this relate to movies? First of all, I’ve learned to suffer in silence when any of the above occurs during my rare visits to movie theatres. I don’t allow myself to get disturbed enough to warrant getting up and asking for assistance from the staff to resolve the problem.
The ramifications of my heart surgery mean that I have to watch my cholesterol, sodium, and glucose intake. Which means everything sold at the refreshment counter is strictly verboten for me, except for the exorbitantly priced bottled water.
Another problem concerns the content. Many of today’s releases have stories or content which does not appeal to me. And when one of the independent houses has a festival or revival, the film I want to see almost always plays just once, at a time I can’t make it.
All of the factors I’ve described above lead me to the unalterable conclusion that I hate going to movie theatres. Besides what I’ve described, I also don’t like having to actually GO to the theatre at a designated time which I did not choose, and sit with a bunch of complete strangers to watch the movie. I have to tolerate the disturbances they make, and also the lack of hygiene, or worse yet, overpowering cologne, for a couple of hours.
I’ve come to regard Netflix, Turner Classic Movies, and IFC as manna from Heaven. When I grab my mail and I see one of those red envelopes, I say a silent, “Hallelujah!” Don’t mistake me for a snob; I enjoy Adam Sandler’s “work” as much as the next neanderthal. But more and more I find myself choosing foreign movies or old American black and white classics for my Netflix queue.
As soon as I finish this post, I’ll change into my favorite pajamas, put on my slippers, and pop in Les Demoiselles de Rochefort (The Young Girls of Rochefort, 1963) starring a young Catherine Deneuve. I’ll sit down in my favorite chair with a salad and a Caffeine Free Diet Coke, and press the PLAY button. If I get cold, I’ll pause the movie and grab a blanket. If I need to go to the bathroom, I can pause the movie again, until I return. If I miss a subtitle, I’ll go back and read it again. (Try that in a theatre.) And then, in my peaceful surroundings, with Jewel the Cat in my lap, I’ll go off to “Movie-land.”
--30--
Probably the worst problem I faced while working as Head Usher at the movie theatre was the customers. Of course, the vast majority of my customers were a pleasure to deal with. They knew that seeing a movie in a darkened theatre with others was a special experience, and they did their best not to become a part of the experience for others, except for their measured reactions to what they saw on the screen.
But there was a sizable minority of customers who made moviegoing a nightmare, particularly for someone like me, who likes no disturbance whatsoever when I choose to see a movie.
The worst problem is talking. Talking to your companion, talking to the screen, or worse yet, talking on the phone. People are so used to watching movies at home, where talking to your family and housemates about the movie or household matters is normal, that they carry that behavior with them. A lot of customers think they're being considerate by turning off the ringer and using text messaging, but that’s nearly as bad, because the light emitted from their devices is bright enough to draw the attention of those sitting adjacent and all the individuals sitting behind them.
[Believe it or not, I had to listen to talking all around me when I was taken to a screening at the Writer’s Guild of America, west Theatre on Doheny in Los Angeles. I could not believe that writers, who fight for respect for their work, would be whispering constantly throughout the entire movie. I guess I’m like Hans Christian Anderson’s Princess And The Pea, because I’m so sensitive that I can hear someone unwrapping a cough drop nine rows behind me.]
Yes, I know that a customer who is being disturbed by another can always get up and summon an usher to come in and try to resolve the problem. However, once the customer gets up to fetch the usher, he is now “out” of the movie, even before he goes through the doors.
Another big problem is crying babies. I realize economic times are tough, but if you can’t afford a baby-sitter, STAY HOME. When everyone else is watching a quiet psycho-drama, nothing ruins the experience faster than a fussy baby.
Don’t get me started about food. Yes, I know that every movie theatre sells popcorn, and the aroma of freshly-popped popcorn is one that I use to put myself into a “movie” frame of mind. But when the aroma of popcorn fights the aroma of Chinese, Mexican, or Indian take-out, (all three colliding is a nightmare) it doesn't make me hungry, it makes me nauseous.
If you’ve been reading this blog, or you know me, you might recall I had a heart attack, quadruple bypass, and valve repair surgery 4 years ago. How does this relate to movies? First of all, I’ve learned to suffer in silence when any of the above occurs during my rare visits to movie theatres. I don’t allow myself to get disturbed enough to warrant getting up and asking for assistance from the staff to resolve the problem.
The ramifications of my heart surgery mean that I have to watch my cholesterol, sodium, and glucose intake. Which means everything sold at the refreshment counter is strictly verboten for me, except for the exorbitantly priced bottled water.
Another problem concerns the content. Many of today’s releases have stories or content which does not appeal to me. And when one of the independent houses has a festival or revival, the film I want to see almost always plays just once, at a time I can’t make it.
All of the factors I’ve described above lead me to the unalterable conclusion that I hate going to movie theatres. Besides what I’ve described, I also don’t like having to actually GO to the theatre at a designated time which I did not choose, and sit with a bunch of complete strangers to watch the movie. I have to tolerate the disturbances they make, and also the lack of hygiene, or worse yet, overpowering cologne, for a couple of hours.
I’ve come to regard Netflix, Turner Classic Movies, and IFC as manna from Heaven. When I grab my mail and I see one of those red envelopes, I say a silent, “Hallelujah!” Don’t mistake me for a snob; I enjoy Adam Sandler’s “work” as much as the next neanderthal. But more and more I find myself choosing foreign movies or old American black and white classics for my Netflix queue.
As soon as I finish this post, I’ll change into my favorite pajamas, put on my slippers, and pop in Les Demoiselles de Rochefort (The Young Girls of Rochefort, 1963) starring a young Catherine Deneuve. I’ll sit down in my favorite chair with a salad and a Caffeine Free Diet Coke, and press the PLAY button. If I get cold, I’ll pause the movie and grab a blanket. If I need to go to the bathroom, I can pause the movie again, until I return. If I miss a subtitle, I’ll go back and read it again. (Try that in a theatre.) And then, in my peaceful surroundings, with Jewel the Cat in my lap, I’ll go off to “Movie-land.”
--30--
23 April 2008
The Shop Around The Corner
This weekend I saw The Shop Around The Corner for the 6th or 7th time. It’s one of those movies I could see every year and not get tired of it. [more on this topic to come...] Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan play lovers with a hidden romance complicated because they’ve never met, cultivating their love via correspondence.The story itself is an evergreen. The script, written by one of director Ernst Lubitsch’s favorite writers, Samson Rafaelson, who adapted it from a stage play. The movie was remade twice, first as a musical, In The Good Old Summertime, starring Judy Garland and Van Heflin, and as You’ve Got Mail. You’ve Got Mail stars Tom Hanks, who was thought by some to be the natural heir to Jimmy Stewart’s various roles as the Everyman put into unusual situations.(Castaway, for example, reminds me a lot of The Spirit Of St. Louis, in which Mr. Stewart as Charles Lindbergh, talks to a fly trapped inside the cockpit of his plane. In Castaway, Mr. Hanks converses with a basketball in an effort to keep his sanity.
What makes The Shop Around The Corner so special to me is the themes. Ernst Lubitsch, mentor to Billy Wilder (in my opinion, the greatest American director to ever draw a breath), employs two of his (and later Mr. Wilder’s) favorite themes, mistaken identity and occluded romance. Alfred Kralick (Mr. Stewart) and Klara Novak (Ms. Sullavan) “meet” when Alfred peruses the classifieds looking for a better job and accidentally discovers Klara’s personal ad.By coincidence, Klara comes into Matuschek’s, the store where Alfred is working. Alfred and Klara have a classic meet-cute when the two meet and disagree about nearly everything (without knowing they are writing to each other).
As the story continues, further complications come from parallel construction in which mistaken identity and an occluded romance are again the themes. Mr. Matuschek, played by Frank Morgan, who is best known as the eponymous Wizard of Oz, mistakenly believes that Alfred, his most trusted employee, is conducting a clandestine affair with Mr. Matuschek. The confusion leads him to fire Alfred and contemplate suicide.
Once the confusion over Alfred is resolved, Mr. Matusche rehires him and promotes him to manager, leading to further complications between Alfred and Klara.
At the end of the movie, the most of the tension between Alfred and Klara was resolved as they had unraveled their many misunderstandings, leaving only the most overwhelming misunderstanding in place. When Alfred finally unmasks himself, Klara finds herself both speechless and relieved.
Great storytelling reveals itself through painstaking care for every detail. The Shop Around The Corner is one of the few movies I can watch without ever being jolted by a careless mistake or convenient omission. If you haven’t seen it recently, I suggest you revisit it. I think you’ll enjoy it as you would a visit from an old and dear friend.
[Yes, I realize that all of the preceding is a spoiler. However, I believe if you haven’t seen this picture already, you might not deserve any special consideration from me. This is a pander-free zone.]
--30--
22 April 2008
My Naughty Secret
Ever since I could remember, I’ve had a problematic relationship with food. As much as I loved it, I also hated it because it added to my waist line, and eventually hastened my heart attack.But after the heart surgery all that changed. For once, I had to be completely serious about what I ate. I never ate a lot of red meat, so that was easy. Now I rarely have red meat at home, but when I go out, with family or friends, I can indulge without feeling guilty. It’s such a relief, and a wonderful treat.
Ditto desserts. I seldom allow myself to buy anything which would be defined as a dessert. Oh, once in a while when they’re very cheap -- like after a holiday -- I’ll get a bag of Hershey’s Kisses or M & Ms made with holiday packaging. So when I visit my sisters, I don’t even worry about sending my glucose index through the roof! For a day, who cares?
Somehow, though, I felt something was missing. So like any other man, I turned to porn. My porn turned out to be a little different than most men’s porn.
My porn is the Food Channel.From Bobby Flay’s Throw Down! to Emeril Live to Rachel Ray, I’ll watch ’em all. Of course, I have my favorites...
- Duff Goldman’s Ace of Cakes, a celebration of art and baking. Duff and his staff of artists create unusual and appealing desserts.
- Alton Brown’s Good Eats. Never has education been so sneaky. Between ridiculous props and cornball skits, Alton dishes out (get it, dishes out... never mind) solid lessons in food history, safety and preparation.
- A Cook’s Tour. Anthony Bourdain travels the world looking for the exotic, rustic, and excellent. When he appeared on a local talk show years ago, I called in to ask him how he could taste the food, since he’s a chain smoker. “Salt,” he said.
- Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Guy Fieri has the perfect gig. He gets to travel the country in a convertible looking for the kind of restaurants where your bill is small but the portions are large. It’s a wonder he isn’t large, just a little on the plump side.
But my favorite, my Food Channel goddess, is [sigh!] Giada de Laurentiis (above). I’ve had dreams about her; filthy, juicy dreams. Oh, Giada, you have such nimble hands. I love how you rub extra virgin olive oil on your breads. How you lay each strip of lasagna noodle with such care.
Time for a cold shower...
--30--
Triple Threats!
Last night, the three remaining presidential candidates appeared on the World Wrestling Entertainment’s Monday Night Raw. In an effort to court wrestling fans, each adopted a wrestling persona as they read off Teleprompters™.
“Hil-Rod” gave the best promo, as they’re called in the trade. She was the most natural as she read her part, with a playful look in her eyes and smile on her face. She seemed to take genuine pleasure in this break from her usual no-holds-barred campaign style.
The big loser? Our favorite intellectual elitist, “BaRock.” He was stiff and his eyes never moved off the Teleprompter. It’s very clear he was reading and from this side of the screen, I could read on his forehead, “When is this over?”
John McCain appeared to connect best with the fans. He too clearly enjoyed this change of pace, and put some oomph into his presentation. He called upon all the “McCainiacs to get out and vote.”
I can’t say if any of this will make a difference, but one thing is clear. Whoever wins will lay the Smackdown on the opponent.
--30--
“Hil-Rod” gave the best promo, as they’re called in the trade. She was the most natural as she read her part, with a playful look in her eyes and smile on her face. She seemed to take genuine pleasure in this break from her usual no-holds-barred campaign style.
The big loser? Our favorite intellectual elitist, “BaRock.” He was stiff and his eyes never moved off the Teleprompter. It’s very clear he was reading and from this side of the screen, I could read on his forehead, “When is this over?”
John McCain appeared to connect best with the fans. He too clearly enjoyed this change of pace, and put some oomph into his presentation. He called upon all the “McCainiacs to get out and vote.”
I can’t say if any of this will make a difference, but one thing is clear. Whoever wins will lay the Smackdown on the opponent.
--30--
21 April 2008
Patriots Day
The 3rd Monday following the 3rd Sunday is a state holiday in Massachusetts, Patriots Day, commemorating The Battles of Lexington and Concord.
Patriots Day was a favorite of my late mother. She grew up in Boston and New York, and followed her mother’s example by graduating as Valedictorian of Boston Girl’s Latin High School. In those days, public schools were a lot stricter and the education more classical than it is today. Into her 70s, she recited many classic poems from American and English literature, accurately and by heart.
One of her favorite poems was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere. In her memory, I present:
The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;
Hardly a man is now alive
Who remembers that famous day and year.
He said to his friend, “If the British march
By land or sea from the town to-night,
Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch
Of the North Church tower as a signal light,--
One if by land, and two if by sea;
And I on the opposite shore will be,
Ready to ride and spread the alarm
Through every Middlesex village and farm,
For the country folk to be up and to arm.”
Then he said “Good-night!” and with muffled oar
Silently rowed to the Charlestown shore,
Just as the moon rose over the bay,
Where swinging wide at her moorings lay
The Somerset, British man-of-war;
A phantom ship, with each mast and spar
Across the moon like a prison bar,
And a huge black hulk, that was magnified
By its own reflection in the tide.
Meanwhile, his friend through alley and street
Wanders and watches, with eager ears,
Till in the silence around him he hears
The muster of men at the barrack door,
The sound of arms, and the tramp of feet,
And the measured tread of the grenadiers,
Marching down to their boats on the shore.
Then he climbed the tower of the Old North Church,
By the wooden stairs, with stealthy tread,
To the belfry chamber overhead,
And startled the pigeons from their perch
On the sombre rafters, that round him made
Masses and moving shapes of shade,--
By the trembling ladder, steep and tall,
To the highest window in the wall,
Where he paused to listen and look down
A moment on the roofs of the town
And the moonlight flowing over all.
Beneath, in the churchyard, lay the dead,
In their night encampment on the hill,
Wrapped in silence so deep and still
That he could hear, like a sentinel’s tread,
The watchful night-wind, as it went
Creeping along from tent to tent,
And seeming to whisper, “All is well!”
A moment only he feels the spell
Of the place and the hour, and the secret dread
Of the lonely belfry and the dead;
For suddenly all his thoughts are bent
On a shadowy something far away,
Where the river widens to meet the bay,--
A line of black that bends and floats
On the rising tide like a bridge of boats.
Meanwhile, impatient to mount and ride,
Booted and spurred, with a heavy stride
On the opposite shore walked Paul Revere.
Now he patted his horse’s side,
Now he gazed at the landscape far and near,
Then, impetuous, stamped the earth,
And turned and tightened his saddle girth;
But mostly he watched with eager search
The belfry tower of the Old North Church,
As it rose above the graves on the hill,
Lonely and spectral and sombre and still.
And lo! as he looks, on the belfry's height
A glimmer, and then a gleam of light!
He springs to the saddle, the bridle he turns,
But lingers and gazes, till full on his sight
A second lamp in the belfry burns.
A hurry of hoofs in a village street,
A shape in the moonlight, a bulk in the dark,
And beneath, from the pebbles, in passing, a spark
Struck out by a steed flying fearless and fleet;
That was all! And yet, through the gloom and the light,
The fate of a nation was riding that night;
And the spark struck out by that steed, in his flight,
Kindled the land into flame with its heat.
He has left the village and mounted the steep,
And beneath him, tranquil and broad and deep,
Is the Mystic, meeting the ocean tides;
And under the alders that skirt its edge,
Now soft on the sand, now loud on the ledge,
Is heard the tramp of his steed as he rides.
It was twelve by the village clock
When he crossed the bridge into Medford town.
He heard the crowing of the cock,
And the barking of the farmer’s dog,
And felt the damp of the river fog,
That rises after the sun goes down.
It was one by the village clock,
When he galloped into Lexington.
He saw the gilded weathercock
Swim in the moonlight as he passed,
And the meeting-house windows, black and bare,
Gaze at him with a spectral glare,
As if they already stood aghast
At the bloody work they would look upon.
It was two by the village clock,
When he came to the bridge in Concord town.
He heard the bleating of the flock,
And the twitter of birds among the trees,
And felt the breath of the morning breeze
Blowing over the meadow brown.
And one was safe and asleep in his bed
Who at the bridge would be first to fall,
Who that day would be lying dead,
Pierced by a British musket ball.
You know the rest. In the books you have read
How the British Regulars fired and fled,---
How the farmers gave them ball for ball,
From behind each fence and farmyard wall,
Chasing the redcoats down the lane,
Then crossing the fields to emerge again
Under the trees at the turn of the road,
And only pausing to fire and load.
So through the night rode Paul Revere;=
And so through the night went his cry of alarm
To every Middlesex village and farm,---
A cry of defiance, and not of fear,
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,
And a word that shall echo for evermore!
For, borne on the night-wind of the Past,
Through all our history, to the last,
In the hour of darkness and peril and need,
The people will waken and listen to hear
The hurrying hoof-beats of that steed,
And the midnight message of Paul Revere.
--30--
Patriots Day was a favorite of my late mother. She grew up in Boston and New York, and followed her mother’s example by graduating as Valedictorian of Boston Girl’s Latin High School. In those days, public schools were a lot stricter and the education more classical than it is today. Into her 70s, she recited many classic poems from American and English literature, accurately and by heart.
One of her favorite poems was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere. In her memory, I present:
The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five;
Hardly a man is now alive
Who remembers that famous day and year.
He said to his friend, “If the British march
By land or sea from the town to-night,
Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch
Of the North Church tower as a signal light,--
One if by land, and two if by sea;
And I on the opposite shore will be,
Ready to ride and spread the alarm
Through every Middlesex village and farm,
For the country folk to be up and to arm.”
Then he said “Good-night!” and with muffled oar
Silently rowed to the Charlestown shore,
Just as the moon rose over the bay,
Where swinging wide at her moorings lay
The Somerset, British man-of-war;
A phantom ship, with each mast and spar
Across the moon like a prison bar,
And a huge black hulk, that was magnified
By its own reflection in the tide.
Meanwhile, his friend through alley and street
Wanders and watches, with eager ears,
Till in the silence around him he hears
The muster of men at the barrack door,
The sound of arms, and the tramp of feet,
And the measured tread of the grenadiers,
Marching down to their boats on the shore.
Then he climbed the tower of the Old North Church,
By the wooden stairs, with stealthy tread,
To the belfry chamber overhead,
And startled the pigeons from their perch
On the sombre rafters, that round him made
Masses and moving shapes of shade,--
By the trembling ladder, steep and tall,
To the highest window in the wall,
Where he paused to listen and look down
A moment on the roofs of the town
And the moonlight flowing over all.
Beneath, in the churchyard, lay the dead,
In their night encampment on the hill,
Wrapped in silence so deep and still
That he could hear, like a sentinel’s tread,
The watchful night-wind, as it went
Creeping along from tent to tent,
And seeming to whisper, “All is well!”
A moment only he feels the spell
Of the place and the hour, and the secret dread
Of the lonely belfry and the dead;
For suddenly all his thoughts are bent
On a shadowy something far away,
Where the river widens to meet the bay,--
A line of black that bends and floats
On the rising tide like a bridge of boats.
Meanwhile, impatient to mount and ride,
Booted and spurred, with a heavy stride
On the opposite shore walked Paul Revere.
Now he patted his horse’s side,
Now he gazed at the landscape far and near,
Then, impetuous, stamped the earth,
And turned and tightened his saddle girth;
But mostly he watched with eager search
The belfry tower of the Old North Church,
As it rose above the graves on the hill,
Lonely and spectral and sombre and still.
And lo! as he looks, on the belfry's height
A glimmer, and then a gleam of light!
He springs to the saddle, the bridle he turns,
But lingers and gazes, till full on his sight
A second lamp in the belfry burns.
A hurry of hoofs in a village street,
A shape in the moonlight, a bulk in the dark,
And beneath, from the pebbles, in passing, a spark
Struck out by a steed flying fearless and fleet;
That was all! And yet, through the gloom and the light,
The fate of a nation was riding that night;
And the spark struck out by that steed, in his flight,
Kindled the land into flame with its heat.
He has left the village and mounted the steep,
And beneath him, tranquil and broad and deep,
Is the Mystic, meeting the ocean tides;
And under the alders that skirt its edge,
Now soft on the sand, now loud on the ledge,
Is heard the tramp of his steed as he rides.
It was twelve by the village clock
When he crossed the bridge into Medford town.
He heard the crowing of the cock,
And the barking of the farmer’s dog,
And felt the damp of the river fog,
That rises after the sun goes down.
It was one by the village clock,
When he galloped into Lexington.
He saw the gilded weathercock
Swim in the moonlight as he passed,
And the meeting-house windows, black and bare,
Gaze at him with a spectral glare,
As if they already stood aghast
At the bloody work they would look upon.
It was two by the village clock,
When he came to the bridge in Concord town.
He heard the bleating of the flock,
And the twitter of birds among the trees,
And felt the breath of the morning breeze
Blowing over the meadow brown.
And one was safe and asleep in his bed
Who at the bridge would be first to fall,
Who that day would be lying dead,
Pierced by a British musket ball.
You know the rest. In the books you have read
How the British Regulars fired and fled,---
How the farmers gave them ball for ball,
From behind each fence and farmyard wall,
Chasing the redcoats down the lane,
Then crossing the fields to emerge again
Under the trees at the turn of the road,
And only pausing to fire and load.
So through the night rode Paul Revere;=
And so through the night went his cry of alarm
To every Middlesex village and farm,---
A cry of defiance, and not of fear,
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,
And a word that shall echo for evermore!
For, borne on the night-wind of the Past,
Through all our history, to the last,
In the hour of darkness and peril and need,
The people will waken and listen to hear
The hurrying hoof-beats of that steed,
And the midnight message of Paul Revere.
--30--
20 April 2008
My pants don’t fit
I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
My pants don't fit. That’s the good news. Since I've been limiting my glucose intake I've been losing weight steadily. I was 174 on 28 March, and today (20 April) I'm 161.2. That’s about 4 pounds a week. For the first ten days, I lost nearly a whole pound a day! I limited myself to one slice of bread per day or 2 cups of brown rice or pasta.
I got either scared or decided not to take it seriously and now it's less than a pound a day. Which is just fine for me, since I get to eat a bit more of what I like, without feeling guilty.
Now for the bad news. None of my pants fit. Ordinarily you would consider this a positive, but right now I'm dead flat broke, so I can't afford to replace them.
On balance, a good problem to have.
--30--
19 April 2008
Danica Wins!
In her 50th Indy Car start, Danica Patrick won her first race in Twin Ring Motegi race track in Motegi, Japan.
Starting 5th, Ms. Patrick battled understeer the whole race. Demonstrating that smart is better than fast, Ms. Patrick and her crew chief, Kyle Moyer, decided to save fuel and skip a final splash ’n’ go pit stop. For most of the final 40 laps, she drove conservatively, dropping back to 7th while most of the leaders were driving full out. After the pit stops, the only other driver to skip the splash ’n’ go was the leader, Helio Castroneves, who was now trying to conserve fuel to the end. Running second with 3 laps to go, Ms. Patrick saw her opportunity, and shot past Mr. Castroneves in turn 3 and never looked back.
Yes, she’s smokin’ hot. But when I first saw her drive, I saw a confident, competent driver who was as poised in front of the camera as she was behind the wheel. She weathered all the impatient questioning: “When are you going to win a race?” Once the weight of that question was lifted, ESPN’s Jack Arute teased her: “When are you going to win your next race?”
Related: NASCAR Owner Talks To Danica
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18 April 2008
Modern-Day Androcles And The Lion
It’s a woman, not a young man, but the rest of the analogy rings true. This fully-grown African lion shows his gratitude to the woman, who rescued him six years ago from a traveling circus when he was emaciated. She nursed him back to health in her sanctuary, and now visits him every day.
By the way, I showed this video to Jewel the Cat, and she hissed at it!
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17 April 2008
Res Ipsa Loquitor
Earlier this week, the New York Times ran a story about American Idol callers who dial the wrong numbers when they vote for contestants, creating a nuisance and running up charges for innocents whose telephone numbers are one or two digits off the legit numbers.
It doesn’t surprise me, as one only has to consider who has the time and inclination to call and vote. One could easily imagine that if Darwin met them, he’d reconsider his Theory of Evolution.
There’s a Latin phrase, “Res ipsa loquitor” which is most commonly used as a legal maxim. Literally translated, it means “The thing speaks for itself.”
"American Idol” voters can’t seem to call the correct numbers. Res Ipso Loquitor.
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16 April 2008
The line forms on the left...
Yesterday, I spent almost two hours waiting in line to turn in my federal income tax returns. Although I thought I could just walk in and drop off my return, I was told by 3 separate bureaucrats that I would have to take a number and wait for a clerk at one of the windows just for the privilege of handing in my completed return and payment.
I was prepared. I brought last week's New Yorker and Sports Illustrated. I wasn't exactly pleased to wait, but I've learned not to get upset by circumstances beyond my control. (Yes, before you write, I know I could have filed three months ago.)
Every couple of minutes I looked up at the LED sign to check on my progress. As I glanced at the sign, I surveyed the room. All forty chairs were occupied, and there were at least another twenty souls standing, while yet another twenty were in a queue waiting to get their number.
I could feel the anger and disgust welling in the room. People were edgy. Someone brushed by another and harsh words were exchanged. A man picked up a pen that didn't belong to him, and the owner snapped, "Hey, man, you can't do that."
Why do so many people seem to be right on the edge of anger? I know the economy went down the crapper, but I've noticed this over the past few years. I think it's because we expect things to go our way, without considering the ramifications for others. I nearly got run down several times in the last few years because the drivers were talking on their cell phones.
A long time ago, I came to the conclusion that the world was against me. No, I don't think that the world is a sentient organism plotting against me. For one reason or another, most things don't go my way. It used to bother me, but now I expect it. My friends think this is a horrible way to look at life, but I think it's great. Whenever things do turn out well for me, it's a surprise, and it makes me smile. If they don't, it doesn't bother me because I've anticipated it.
After waiting more than an hour and a half, a haggard federal employee came out amongst us with a handful of Form 4868, which gives you an extension. He was also carrying an empty computer paper carton to collect completed 4868s. I asked him politely if I could give him my completed return. He said "yes," and my long wait was over.
Instead of getting angry that I had waited more than 90 minutes until someone decided to come out and collect forms, I just laughed at the absurdity of it all.
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